I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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