Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize