you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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