We won't sleep together?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
