Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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