Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
