some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
