The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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