I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
