addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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