Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
