They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
