Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
