I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
