ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
