I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
