I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
this will be a night to untag.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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