it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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