he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
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Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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