I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
