I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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