so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I've blown a few things in my day
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
