He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize