Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
