My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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