I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
