Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
