I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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