Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
