i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I look better un-naked...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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