Already got asked if we're dating
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
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Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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