just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes