Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
