You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I spit up blood this morning
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Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
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Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo