Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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