i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Green mimosas i think yes
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Randomize
