He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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