I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
