90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
