you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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