...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
