Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
