I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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