I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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