I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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