got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
