i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
