You're a womanizer and a bitch.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
