it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
