Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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