id be glad to
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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