yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
