I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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