I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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