Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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