One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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