This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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