Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
