you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
