apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
