nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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